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Christian InTech Articles - Personal Technology
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9 Simple Strategies for Home Organization
Home organization means being able to find your stuff when you need it, not after an hour or more of searching. But home organization doesn't necessarily mean you're neat or clean. It doesn't even mean you're not a pack rat. Home organization just...
Calling All Angels, Talking To Angels
I am a big believer in the strength of a personal prayer. However, some of you have asked for a formal guide about how to call to the Archangels. (See the archives – Your Guide To the Archangels for more information!) This guide below is for...
Can You Make a “Torpedo” Out of Personal Junk? How to Optimize What You Have
“Junkyard Wars,” a TV series showed two teams of experts contending for a title. The aim of the competition was for teams to construct a torpedo that can hit a target. But the challenge was more than just the process of construction. The challenge...
Teen Jobsearch, CV help, & Keyskills
"Your sitting at home bored and want to go bowling with your mates but can't because you have no money and your mum and dad have said they cant afford to keep giving you money whenever you feel, so you try and do a few extra jobs around the house...
Well, Well, You're Having Twins! 11 Top Tips on Working With Newborn Twins
Well, Well - You're Having Twins!
11 Top Tips On Working With Newborn Twins
"Twins, it can't be! No one on either side of my husband's or my family can remember anyone having twins." I guess my words didn't matter much because when I heard I...
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Are You Trying too Hard to Be Happy?
We all want to be happy. However, if a woman pushes herself to emotional and mental exhaustion in order to reach “perfect” happiness, she could suffer from a condition she probably has never heard of: Missing Mother Syndrome.
When Megan Meadows (not her real name) came to me, she just wanted to lose weight. “Look at me!” she shouted, pinching her thighs. “I am fat! I am ugly! I hate my body!” Well, there was some middle-age spread, but she certainly was a very nice looking woman. Where did all this self-hate come from?
I am a Meridian Therapy practitioner who uses EFT, a form of emotional acupressure, to release negative emotions. Tapping with the fingertips on certain energy points on the body while being “tuned in” to the problem, does stop food cravings. EFT is quite successful when it comes to weight loss. However, I realized that Megan’s real challenges went far deeper than what she perceived right now as her “big” problem. She mentioned that her mom had recently died, and that brought up the sad story of her childhood. ”I didn’t have a mother”, Megan said. “She was always gone, and when she was there, she tried to create the little girl of her dreams - she did not want me. I was a very lonely child.”
The way I saw it, Megan has been suffering all her life from “Missing Mother Syndrome”.
When Hope Edelman published her book "Motherless Daughters – The Legacy of Loss” in 1994, everyone who belonged to the secret sisterhood of women traumatized by early mother loss, had a revelation: That's exactly how I feel - and I am not alone!
Growing up without the secure presence of a loving, supportive mother implies much more than lacking a same-sex role model. It is devastating. Since the mother is the first, the basic caretaker, losing her -in a physical or emotional way- starts a nightmare of deprivation for a child. In a way, it never ends. Many negative conditions and feelings experienced later in life may have their roots in this extremely traumatic experience.
You could suffer from “Missing Mother Syndrome” if you experience the following conditions on a regular basis:
You feel lost, out of place, and
unsafe in this world
There is an underlying sadness in your life, even if nothing is wrong
You tend to feel lonely and depressed, especially at other people's "Happy Family" gatherings
You hate your body or are unsure about "being a woman"
You have abandonment or anger issues that hurt your relationships
You experience social stress - You either try to stay invisible, or you have a compulsion to be in the limelight
Any major crisis in your life, like a divorce, job loss, or bereavement, throws you right back into the painful past
There is a lot of fear, anxiety, or even guilt and shame in your life
You feel homesick without knowing where "home" is
You are trying too hard to be happy and "perfect"
You take rejection very personally
You believe that everybody else gets their act together - except for you
With tapping, deep seated negative emotions and painful memories are brought to the surface and released – fast and with little additional distress. Gary Craig, the founder of EFT: “EFT has a high success rate with trauma and abuse issues, especially when applied to specific events.”
Happiness is not a single, solid “thing” one can chase down doggedly, obtain and possess. It is rather a fluid quality that evolves naturally, when the obstructions that keep it from being are dissolved. Childhood trauma is certainly one of the main obstructions. Sometimes, a condition that is obvious, is not the real problem. To recognize that “Missing Mother Syndrome” is the underlying cause of never feeling “right”, can be the first step on a woman’s Healing Journey.
Carna Zacharias-Miller, EFT-CC, EFT-ADV, is a spiritual writer and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) practitioner in Florida. She offers live and telephone sessions. Her specialty is helping “Motherless Daughters” to release the painful past and heal their hearts. E-Mail: info@missingmother.com Website: www.missingmother.com
Copyright Carna Zacharias-Miller - www.missingmother.com
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